Now what?

Transition: (dict) the process or period of changing from one state or condition to another.
Process. Period. Change.
These words have become my life in the last few months.

As I sit here, Oceans by Hillsong is playing on my Pandora and I wonder why am I writing this? This blog post has been on my heart for a month or so and I'm finally getting around to writing it. Why now?  Why not earlier? Maybe it's because I'm moving houses (yet again) tomorrow. Maybe it's because I start a new job Monday. Maybe it's because I'm finally being obedient.

I haven't posted anything on here in a while. So let me first begin by giving y'all an update. I left Senegal on May 27th and flew to South Africa for a few days to prepare to come home. On the 30th we left South Africa. I landed in the States on the 31st to be met in New York (where I had an oh-so-dreaded 8 hour layover) by my boyfriend, Zach. Once I finally made it back to good ol Elgin, I took a couple of weeks to just spend time with my family. Then, I went back to work. Pretty normal stuff. "Transition?" you say, "where is the transition in that?".  Well, fast forward to July, the weekend of the 4th to be precise. Zach's family was having a reunion in New Mexico and he invited me to go. We had lots of fun with his family, zip lined in the mountains, did some hiking, and GOT ENGAGED. Zach completely surprised me when he proposed on top of the tallest peak in New Mexico. Since then, my life has become a whirl wind.

I had a perfect plan for when I came back to the States. I was going to have an easy summer working and spending time with the people I love. I was going to live in a house with my best friends in the fall. I was going to have my dream job. I was going to marry Zach at some point. And while some of these came to fruition, others did not. This summer has probably been one of the busiest times of my life. Plans to live with my best friends fell through unexpectedly.

Let's talk about that one. Plans to live with my best friends fell through unexpectedly. Because that's where this post was birthed. 4 of my closest friends all share a house here in College Station. Knowing that I am marrying Zach in January, I needed a place to live until then. So my friends and I concocted a perfect plan. I would live with them for my last season of singleness and share the master with one of them. It was awesome. I was so excited for the extra time I would get with them before life changed. About a month before I would move in, we found out that I couldn't live with them...something about city codes and laws and too many people. I'm not sure why, but this was the straw that broke the camels back. I got overly stressed and honestly freaked out. Imagine this: Zach and I were driving in his truck to go to a park and feed the ducks (precious) when I start crying and having a girl meltdown about how 'EVERYTHING IS CHANGING AND NOTHING IS THE SAME'. Dramatic, I know. Zach let me cry for a little bit and attempted to comfort me (but let's be real. When you're a girl and you're having a meltdown, nothing helps. You just have to freak out for a bit). Finally, he turned to me and said "okay, I want you to list everything in your life that is constant". My response? "NOTHING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING...okay, God. God is constant". Can I be real right here? Zach's question annoyed me at first. In the midst of my freak out, I allowed my emotions to win and without realizing it, he called me on my crap. And nobody likes to be called out. Almost a month later, I still think about that conversation and the wisdom Zach unknowingly showed frequently. Yes, my life is changing. Yes, my life is 100% different from even a year ago. But, it's in the times of change that God grows us and we learn to rely on Him even more.

Change is a funny thing to me. Well, I guess really our reactions to such things is what is baffling. The changes going on in my life are good. I'm beginning my life as an adult. I get to become Mrs. Zachary Ginnings soon. I get to start my dream job in just a couple of days. But those things are not enough to satisfy and sustain me.

You see, I was finding my comfort in things that I thought would be constant. Relationships. Jobs. Living situations. My last name. And each time one of those fell through or faced change (be it good or bad), I would ask myself WHAT NOW? Now what can I look to? What can I depend on? But hear me, friends, there is nothing constant. Nothing we can depend on. Nothing we can look to. Nothing but Christ. He is the only thing in this world that will never change (Malachi 3:6). He is our strength, our hope, our constant. And when we look to other things, we fail. Praise God that His mercies are new everyday.

What are you looking to? Who are you depending on? Where does your trust lie? Is it in Christ? Or is it in other things? Trust me...you want your dependency to be in Christ alone.


Here's one of Zach's and my engagement photos, just for fun. Meet the man of my dreams, everyone :)

Taxi Drivers and God

Here in Dakar, we get around using taxi cabs. Now hear me when I say that these cabs are not the glamorous, exciting cabs people take in the movies. In no way do I resemble Carrie Bradshaw as I hail a cab. For the most part, these cabs are dirty and breaking, maybe clunkers would be a good word.

I remember the when my boss told me I would use taxis to get around, I thought he was crazy: “Like, hold up – you want me to get in a car with a strange man who speaks no English (aside from “how are you fine”…all one sentence, of course), yet has asked me at least 7 times if I want to marry him; in a city that I don’t know? You must be crazy”. To be completely transparent, it scared me. I had absolutely no clue of the layout of this capital city and I thought I never would. But as I’ve come to understand where things are located, here’s what I’ve realized – these cab drivers take some crazy routes. And I mean weird. Like sometimes I have that crazy girl thought of “oh no is he actually even taking me where I said or is he going to kidnap me and I’ll never get to go back to America ever again?” or “did I say the wrong words? I hate foreign languages. Now I’m never going to make it there in time”.  

For example: I was coming home from the bank the other day for the jillionth time this month (but that’s a whole different story for an entirely different day). Needless to say, I've come to know the route well. Somehow, though, in order to avoid traffic we ended up in part of town I had never seen before. Cue the panicky thoughts. Is this man a crazy person? Ok how do I even throw a punch? What neighborhood are we in? But in a matter of minutes, we were right back on track headed back to my comfy house. This got me thinking. Trusting these taxi drivers is a little bit like trusting God...I know that sounds nuts, so bear with me here.

These cab drivers make their living by carting people all over this city.  They know the ins and outs of each neighborhood. They’ve always gotten me to exactly where I wanted to go (alright fine, sometimes only in close proximity) and yet there are days when I just want to take the drivers seat and do it myself. I don’t care if I get lost, I don’t care that I don’t know how to drive a standard very well, I don’t care that traffic here is seriously insane. I just want to be in control, even if that means I crash and burn. Isn’t that how we are with God sometimes? We know that He knows what He’s doing. We know that He is in control. We know that He is far better suited to run our lives. But we still sometimes say “yeah God so listen. I know you’re God and all, but how about I drive today? I don’t really like your routes”. Y’all, how silly is that? God made us and everything around us, and we still struggle to trust Him with the every day pieces of our lives. Yeah, maybe His “routes” are different from what we’re used to or what we prefer, but I can assure you that He will get us to our destination in one piece. Isaiah 55:8 says, “’For your thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are your ways my ways’, declares the Lord”. We can’t understand what God is doing in our lives, or the “routes” He’s taking to get us to where He wants us to be. He is God and we are not. God never promised us that we would understand, He only promised us that He would take care. But what a comfort it is that we don't have to be in control! So let’s hop in the taxi and let Him take the wheel.

Ps: here's a picture of Dakar traffic, in case any of you are curious :)

Sealed with a Kiss

This past week was busy, to say the least! We had a team here from the States and with them we hosted an English Camp for our students and a Kids Club for the neighborhood children. This week was encouraging because it was so very evident that the Lord is beginning to stir in the hearts of our students. Questions were asked that have never been asked before. Bridges were built amongst teachers and students. The love of Christ was shared and made known. I could go on and on about this week, but instead I want to tell you about one little girl. One girl who touched my heart in ways unimaginable.  We will call her M.

People in Senegal don’t speak English. And we all know I don’t really speak Wolof. As I’m sure you all can imagine, working with children can be trying.  When we decided that we were going to launch children’s ministry last week, I was nervous that we would not be able to minister to these children with whom we have no common language.  I hoped and prayed that God would find some way to use me anyhow, that we would be able to impact these children’s lives for the kingdom.

Day one came and we had a time of games, a Bible story, and crafts. We had translating help for the game and the story, but not for the craft. Crafts were conveyed through a series of grunts, hand gestures, and funny faces. And surprisingly, I loved it. As they did their crafts, I walked around and used what little Wolof I know to encourage them and tell them they were doing a great job. In comes M – a sassy, energetic, lively little girl who’s probably 10.  As I roamed, little miss M decided she wanted my attention. So naturally, she began to kiss at me like you would to call a puppy dog to you. At first, I was appalled. How rude?! Then, I decided to play along. So I kissed right back. Automatically, our friendship was sealed with a kiss and we became best pals. Throughout the rest of the week, M and I communicated through a series of puppy kisses mixed with funky body language. One day at the end of camp, M came up to me to give me a hug and said “I love you” IN ENGLISH! It was then that I realized that this little girl would forever hold a special place in my heart.

Here’s what M taught me – or rather, reminded me: our God is a God bigger than language. He doesn’t need us to be able to communicate via words in order to use us. Our God can use grunts, body language, funny faces, or even puppy dog kisses. I mean, let’s be real…he used Moses to deliver His people when he couldn’t communicate with them! By doubting that I could be used, I essentially doubted God. And who am I do to such a thing? God can use anyone who chooses.  He can use us even if we can’t communicate, or even though we’re broken and sinful, or even if we don’t feel qualified, or even if we’re nervous or afraid.  Our Heavenly Father is a God who is not bound by circumstance or situation. And because of that, at least 40 Senegalese children have learned what the love of Christ feels like and I met a sweet little girl who will be my forever friend.

Month 1

As of today, I have been living in Senegal for a month. It feels like I’ve been here for only a few days, and yet it feels as though I’ve been here for years. Throughout this past month I’ve gotten to share the Gospel many times, my heart has broken for the lost, I’ve learned some lessons about us as humans, and I’ve learned some lessons of my own. As I’ve reflected on my time here so far, it was hard to come up with words for what I wanted to say. This morning at church, we looked at 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 and I realized that these verses sum it all up. And I believe that what I’ve learned applies to all, so I thought I would share. Let’s take this piece-by-piece:

Verse 16: “Rejoice always”.

This one hits hard. Jesus doesn’t say rejoice when you feel like it, or when things go our way, but ALWAYS. But what does rejoicing even look like? The dictionary says rejoicing is “to feel or show great joy or delight”. How is that possible? What about when we have those crummy days or when we’re sick or when people are driving us up the wall? Rejoice. To be honest with you, this is something I’ve struggled with. Never have I noticed how easy it can be to complain or see the negative. I miss home, I miss my people, and culture here is absurd to me. But still, I am commanded to rejoice. One day last week, I was having a particularly hard time with this. Instead of seeing the positive in things and the joy, I chose to see the negatives and complain. Of course, poor Zach gets the brunt of those complaints. But instead of letting me throw a pity party, he called me on it and basically said “what you’re doing is not healthy. You’re choosing to see the negative when you’ve been blessed with the opportunity to live in Africa and tell people about Jesus. Joy is a choice, Sarah, and so is complaining. You can choose to be discontent, or you can choose to rejoice. What will it be?” (Those words are my brief summation of an entire conversation and thank God for a guy who will call me out when I’m being a brat). But seriously, Zach’s words really hit home for me. JOY IS A CHOICE, Y’ALL. We have to choose to rejoice.  Complaining may be easier, but it’s not fruitful. Join me in rejoicing, even when things are hard.

Verse 17: “Pray continually”.

I wonder, is it possible for our mere human minds to fully grasp the power of prayer? I don’t think it is.  I feel as though I’ve just now started to understand. Pray continually. What does that mean? Does that mean we walk around babbling like a lunatic? Does that mean we should sit in our prayer closets for hours a day? I don’t believe it does. I think we have some misconceptions about prayer. Praying doesn’t mean you have to bow your head and close your eyes and use big, flowery words. Praying doesn’t mean you have to seclude yourself from the rest of the world. If that’s what you do, more power to ya! Y’all, praying is a conversation with God. I believe that being prayerful simply means being in constant communication with the Father and guess what…Psalm 139:2 says that God knows our thoughts even when we are far away. So based on that, I think we can conclude that being prayerful can be a thought process and that God really does most of the work. It can be dwelling on God each and every moment and being in conversation with Him and thinking of Him in all that we do. Being prayerful means recognizing that we are nothing with out Christ and that He is our strength.

Verse 18: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ”.

 There’s one little word in here that makes a world of difference. ALL. All circumstances. Paul doesn’t say give thanks when you’re feeling it, or when you’ve had a great day, or when God seriously blesses you. Paul says give thanks in all circumstances. When you’re sick in Africa, or you have a total crap day, or you’re tired and don’t feel like it. Give thanks even then. Is that possible? Nobody can be thankful all the time, right? Wrong. Just like joy, thankfulness is a choice. And here’s the beauty of it all, we belong to a Creator who has given us more than an abundant amount of reasons to be grateful. We can just choose one. Having a rough day? Check out the sunset and thank God for that. Being thankful doesn’t mean we have to be joyful, it simply means that we give God the glory and honor He deserves. Nobody likes the child whose parents didn’t teach them to say thank you…let’s not be that kid. Let’s thank God for the millions of ways that He’s blessed us, rather than focus on the hardships we face. Whether we believe it or not, the good always outweighs the bad. Here's a song that goes with this idea:

Now I have a favor to ask. A to do list for you, even. I know, I know…I’m soooo needy. Here’s what I want you to do:

1     1. Choose joy. I promise, you will be so much more content.

2     2. Talk to your Father. He loves to communicate with us. And pray intentionally. Pray for people by name. Don’t be vague, dad’s love to know the details of their kids lives.

3     3. Say thank you. Make a list of 5 things each day that you’re grateful for…even if it’s PB&J sandwiches. Recognize the blessings that are placed in front of you.

4     4. Please. Please. Please. Let me know how I can be praying for you. Email me, text me, Facebook message me, carrier pigeon me (not really…the pigeon would probably drop dead somewhere over the Atlantic from exhaustion). But seriously, I want to pray for you.

The Pros of Being Weak

The last week or so, I've not felt well. I finally went to the doctor yesterday to find out that I have an intestinal infection that spread to my bladder. But this post isn't about y'all knowing I'm sick, or about y'all feeling sorry for me, or even about me at all. Because God has absolutely blown me away over the past couple of days. The way that He is working in and through me is so incredibly it's nearly overwhelming.

The last week or so, I've struggled to really have a solid quiet time. Don't get me wrong, I've met with the Lord. But each day, I would walk away feeling like our time together was rushed or I'd turned it into a to-do list. And then I got sick. And I struggled to be content. Something about sickness tends to make me want my mom, my normal life, my home. BUT...God has used me being sick and my weakness due to that for His glory, as He usually does.

The past couple of days, my quiet times have been INCREDIBLE, y'all. Like can't-get-enough, want-to-spend-the-whole-day-just-resting-at-God's-feet, overwhelmed-by-His-love good. And that's not because of me or anything I'm doing. On top of that, He has been so faithful in my classes. I'm going to be really honest and confess that I haven't been wild about teaching this week. I mean, come on...what sick person wants to stand in front of a group of people for an hour and a half and be engaging? Not me. In the times that I've had a crummy attitude, when I've considered cutting class short, on the days where I just wanted to stay in bed -- He showed up and made His name known. Christ is constantly reming me that He is the reason -- the reason why I'm here, the reason we have life, the reason for hope -- and that it's all about Him, in the sweetest way possible.

So often, I feel like I strive for strength. Like admitting weakness is something to deplore. That being sick, or needing other, or feeling inadequate is something to avoid at all costs. But that's not true. This week, our Father is teaching me that weakness can be a good thing. Because His grace is sufficient. And His power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Weakness simply proves God's power in us.

Like a Caged Bird

We made our first local friend!! Yesterday we had lunch with her (that's how Senegalese show they care...they feed you) and today we had her over to our house for lunch. We had tacos because she'd never had American food before...and because all of us girls miss Mexican food like no other. But that's beside the point. So this friend of ours...we will call her A.

A is brilliant (she speaks French, Wolof, English, some Chinese and some Spanish. She attends university here and plans to soon study for her masters). And driven. And something about her makes me love her. And she's lost. So so lost. A is a devout Muslim. Most Muslims here have no knowledge of what they believe. But A does...to some extent. She knows what she believes unless you ask why she complies to certain rules. And then she's at a loss. Why? Because it's a sin to question the commands of Allah or Mohammad. A plans to marry a man who already has a wife and 3 kids because she loves him, so she has no other option but to accept it. To accept a life filled with competition, jealousy and rejection. She wears a hijab always because it is "compulsory" for her to hide her beauty. She wakes every morning at 5am because she must pray.

My heart breaks for A and all the women like her. Women who don't know the freedom Christ has to offer. Women who live their lives like caged birds because they think that's all there is and that's all they deserve or are allowed. Women like A who seek knowledge and love in all the wrong places because they just know they're empty. Women searching for a Savior they think they've already found.

Please join me in praying for A and all the women around the world just like her. Women who I live amongst. Women just like you and me. Women who need freedom. Women who need Jesus.